00100	REPORT OF THE SELECT COMMISSION ON THE TEACHING OF
00200	THIRD AGE HISTORY IN SHIRE SCHOOLS
00300	
00400		For many years the teaching of the history of
00500	the third age in our schools has been based on the semi-legendary
00600	manuscript "Lord of the Rings".  The historical inadequacy and
00700	many biases have long been evident to scholars, but respect
00800	for the memory of the "heroic Frodo" was used by the traditionalist
00900	government to suppress overt non-conformity even in the
01000	university.  Not even his ancient name good save Ringo Baggins
01100	from the loss of his professorship for suggesting that perhaps
01200	some of the grosser statements about Orcs were exaggerated
01300	and that Hobbits should not refuse to play against croquet
01400	teams that had Orc players.
01500	
01600		Indeed, objective treatment of third age history would
01700	still be far off were it not for the startling discoveries
01800	arising from the dredging of Westport harbor and their 
01900	interpretation by the revisionist scholars.  It is not to our
02000	credit as Hobbits to have to admit that Orc historians played
02100	an essential role in interpreting to us the plain facts of
02200	our own history.
02300	
02400		The main lines of the evidence may be summarized as
02500	follows:
02600	
02700	% While Orcs differ from Hobbits and Elves and Men in as
02800	many ways as the races that won the Great War differ among
02900	themselves, too many Hobbits have visited the Orc territories
03000	in spite of government opposition, to allow the old anti-Orc
03100	prejudices to be believable.  Since the Orcs are not as
03200	depicted in the "Lord of the Rings", it is only natural to
03300	ask how they came to be so depicted.  To whose advantage
03400	was it.
03500	
03600	% It has become increasingly clear that the Shire no longer
03700	needs or wants the "protection" of the House of Aragorn.
03800	The post of Lord Protector of the Shire is an anachronism
03900	and Aragorn XIX should find something else to do with
04000	his uncles and other super-annuated politicians.  We should
04100	no longer allow him even nominal veto power over the
04200	election of the Shire President, and we should conduct our
04300	own foreign relations taking our own needs into account
04400	independent of Aragorn dynastic considerations.
04500	
04600	
04700	The Orcs buy Hobbit beer.
04800	The discovery that Westland across the sea is a continent
04900	and not heaven.
05000	A Hobbit body among others found with a cord around its
05100	neck and a missing finger in a ship sunk just outside
05200	the old Westport harbor.  Not all the bodies were found, and
05300	the rumor that certain people had reappeared in the South
05400	were supported by certain family records.
05500	The note in Aragorn I's handwriting suggesting that the
05600	final solution to the Orc problem might involve sending
05700	them to Westernesse.
05800	
05900	The evidence that the wizard Flagilang is older than he
06000	admits and may be the notorious Gandalf.
06100	
06200	The parts of the ring epic for which we have only Gandalf's
06300	word.
06400	
06500	Recent investigations and applications of ring power.
06600	
06700	Manipulative tendencies of the elves.
06800	
06900	What really happened.